By saying BDSM, you can basically mean anything you want. It is a wide range of activities varying from simple handcuffs or blindfolds to extreme electrocuting or cutting. While some people are totally not into it, it may be the only way to get aroused for others. If you want to begin your journey to a BDSM world, there are some basic things you must know and understand to play it fun but safe for both partners.
This guide will help you get to know the basics of every BDSM play. It doesn’t matter what you want to do and how experienced your partner is. Always make sure that you talk about rules before. It’s the only way to ensure safety for both of you. Keep reading, take your handcuffs, rabbit dildo, and go have fun!
Consent
Consent is the first and most crucial rule not only in BDSM play but in sex in general, so ensure that you stick to it. If you are not sure that you or your partner is into it, nothing is good about it. You must talk about it with your partner before even thinking of having a session full of new (and maybe even extreme) sensations. BDSM may look scary to some people, but once you get into it, you will realize that it is fun when you do it with someone you trust.
Communication
If you think that communication is the key to any relationship, it is even more critical in BDSM. You have to communicate every step of your play. Don’t forget to talk about why you want to do something and why your partner wants to do it too. It’s the only way to make sure that you will both enjoy the session equally.
It doesn’t matter how experienced your partner is; if you are not sure about something, ask! The worst thing that can happen in BDSM play is a misunderstanding. Be sure that neither of you feels uncomfortable or hurt. Communication is vital.
Ask About Your Partner’s Limits
One of the most important things you need to discuss with your partner is limits. What can they not handle? What are their triggers? If you are a beginner, it would be better to stick to milder limits like light spanking, light bondage, or blindfold. You don’t want your first BDSM play to be overwhelming for both of you. Remember that your partner is not a BBW sex doll, and you always have to ask about the other person’s boundaries!
Once you know what each of you can handle, you can move on to more intense things. Just make sure to set some rules and that both of you agree about these things beforehand. Don’t assume anything!
Don’t Forget About Safewords
Safewords are one of the most crucial elements of any BDSM play. They can save situations when everything goes wrong and prevent both of you from breaking or exceeding boundaries.
It would be best if you choose a safeword that is easy for both of you to remember and use when needed. Pick a safeword that means “stop” and “yes” – this will make things easier and safer for both of you. In case of situations when one of you cannot speak, pick a signal instead. For example, squeezing your hand three times or raising your eyebrow three times – works just as good.
Explore Each Other’s Bodies First
Before diving into extreme (or just unusual) sensations, you must do some foreplay. Make sure that both of you are aroused and ready to play. Even if you are not going directly to BDSM play, make sure that both of you feel comfortable with each other’s bodies first.
Make sure to take your time and explore each other’s bodies first and once both of you feel aroused enough, go on to the next chapter. Keep in mind that while some activities might seem too overwhelming for your partner, there might be another activity they might like more than this particular one. The choice is yours! Start slow and build up your confidence with every step forward.
Stay In The Flow
BDSM is all about flow. You have to stay in the flow with every activity you do. Keep talking with your partner and make sure that they feel comfortable with you and your actions. There is nothing more powerful than enjoying a session with someone you trust.
Once you are in the flow, it will be easier for both of you to understand each other and communicate if something is wrong or not. It would be better to read each other’s body language and see what makes the other one feel turned on. You can adjust and adapt the BDSM play so that both of you feel equally satisfied in the end.
Keep Things Safe And Sanitary
Once you start playing with bondage or using toys, it is vital to keep things safe and sanitary. Make sure that every toy you use is clean and has no sharp edges. If you plan to use toys on each other, make sure that they are marked with “medical grade silicone” – this ensures your toys are non-toxic, hypoallergenic, and safe for your body.
Don’t forget about condoms! Use them every time you want to have sex. This way, you will both enjoy the session even more and will be even more confident about it next time.
Have Fun With Your Partner
Don’t forget that BDSM is all about having fun and experimenting with new things with your partner. It doesn’t matter how experienced the other person is or how much pain both of you want to endure – it is all about fun and trust between partners.
Just make sure that you don’t cross any boundaries while playing and get ready to have some really hot sessions whenever you want to.
Final Note
Although most BDSM activities are associated with painful experiences, you don’t have to start from extreme interpersonal dynamics. If you think that BDSM is not for you, you can still try it without all the pain and spanking – handcuffs or blindfolds may be enough to spice up your sex life.
It would be better if you start with simple things that are easy to use and won’t be too overwhelming for you and your partner. Once you get into it, it is easier to experiment with new things and move on to more intense stuff. The choice is yours – have fun with it!
